Do You Really Need a Wedding Dress?

Everyone knows there's a difference between a Need and a Want. You NEED to have a roof over your head but you WANT it to be a nice home in a quiet neighborhood. You need a car but want it to have a nice ride and look good.   Same goes with wedding gowns, bridesmaid gowns, mother's dresses and accessories.

You NEED to have a dress. You WANT it to be in your budget.

You NEED to have the dress arrive on time. You WANT to try on every dress in a 100-mile radius.

You NEED to have all the bridesmaids in dresses. You WANT them to be all the same/different/same color/etc.

Unless you have an unlimited wedding budget, which is not likely, you are going to need to make some tough decisions over the next few months.  You have already made the most important decision of all and I’ll bet it was quite easy.  You said “I will” to your own prince charming and now is the time to begin creating your own fairy tale.

This is the time to make a list of the parts of your wedding that are the most important to you.  I liken this to the idea that you are throwing a really great party.  “What will I wear, what will we eat, and what will we do?”  You also want to make sure to hire someone to record your day so you can relive it over and over. 

If you are like most brides to be, your thoughts turn to the most important dress you will ever wear.  Even the girls who come into my store saying it doesn’t matter find out that it does matter.  The most laid back girls become picky.  That is why it is essential that you shop in a real bridal shop.  You can tell the best shop for you because you will feel welcome and assured by the staff, the atmosphere and the dresses. 

Think about what is most important to you and allocate more of your budget in these areas and less in the places that don’t matter to you.  Some things can be eliminated completely while others can be minimized.  You might want to enlist the services of a professional at this point.  Your bridal consultant can be invaluable even if she is not an overall wedding planner she has likely heard it all and can give you guidance as you navigate the sea of uncertainty and steer you away from crashing into the reef of big mistakes.

So many times I see brides lament over the bridal bouquet and flowers for the wedding party.  Ask for referrals to the most creative and reasonably priced florist and ask for ideas to keep the cost in line.  Most wedding party florals will fit in a small box and should not cost an arm and a leg.  What about getting in-season flowers or asking to use flowers out of a friend's garden, or even having bouquets made of silk flowers? Your florist will have great money-saving ideas for you if you want to use fresh flowers professionally created into a stunning bouquet.

If you have the time and the creativity, why not design your own invitations? It does take a while, and is labor intensive, but it can be satisfying (and save you some money). If invitations are important to you, then plan your budget accordingly.

Another place where I see money wasted is in the cake that rarely gets consumed and at the end of the evening is a “monument to the trash can.”  You can have your cake and eat it to and that is exactly what you should do.  Budget your cake in with your food and make sure that it gets eaten.  Make sure that there are slices of cake available for your guests to pick up at their leisure. 

Isadora by Maggie Sottero available at The Gallery by Lynette

When you really put your budget in the right places you will find that your wedding gown is actually one of the more affordable line items but the impact on your day will be huge.  It isn’t just for one day.  You have been wearing your wedding gown in your heart since you were a little girl and you will wear it in your memory for the rest of your life.  You will also wear it on your mother’s wall forever.  My own mother’s wedding day picture in her wedding dress has been hanging on the wall in my home for the past 20 years and as I look at that young woman gazing into her new husband’s face I am so grateful that her mother didn’t talk her into a cheap dress because after all “it’s only for one day.”